A Letter to A Lover

If you are going to leave me someday, I wouldn't know how to handle it. I know that I can live without you before you came, but since you take something the most important from me, my heart, I wouldn't know how to heal my self after you throw me away.

Like what Demi say on her song:

"Baby I just ran out of band-aids

I don't even know where to start

'Cause you can bandage the damage

You never really can fix a heart"

Or like Taylor write on her song:

"Band-aids don't fix bullet holes"

Well, the holes is in here. In my heart.

--- 

If one day, you are already tired and start to hate me or even thinking that I don't love that MUCH, just remember:
The way I look into your beautiful eyes.
Can you see how much I love you by seeing my eyes staring into yours?

How a simple thing can make me smile.
Even silly things that you do in the car, or how you play with your facial expression can make me smile even laugh.

How I can transform into the one that's not really me in a good way.
I'm clumsy, awkward, and not really into girls thingy person. I'm sure you know me, right? But, I can prepare your food, even cook for you, make or bake something for you, or even feeding you like a baby.

The way tears fall into my cheek. When we have a fight.
I'm not a sensitive person. But, you can make me cry easily. Not because you are a mean person. But because I can't even thinking about living my life without you. 

Just think about my face, my voice, the way I touch you, the way I hug you, whenever it can't fix your heart and your feeling, you are already reach your limit.

---

Whenever I miss you, or I'm not in a good mood, I can think about these things below, and can get back into my mood and smile from eat to ear:
The way you eat your food

The way you get excited about something (your face will get really cute!)

The way you hold my hands at the mall

The way you play with my hair when I do something stupid

The way you treat me like a child whenever I act like a child

The way you get panicked and take care of me when I get sick

The way you smile when you look my face. I feel so blessed. I feel so lucky. It's like I'm very priceless to you. It's way too greater than any gift I can imagine.

The way you smoke your cigarette

The way you kiss me in my forehead in the middle of the crowd (and you don't care about what people think)

The way you talk to me

The way you hug me. Your body temperature, your skin softness, your smell. Oh, these things really can make me smile happily and forget about our problem cause I'm afraid I can't feel it no more;

and there are still alot of things but I can't think about it for now. 

---

Just remember,
whenever you want to leave,
I'll fall into my worst, if you care of me, you won't leave; but,
if you have to ...
leave me alone
don't leave anything, don't ruin anything
don't change anything, make sure that the only thing that will be changed is ... it's me the one whom have to survive without you
don't said anything that can make my life getting worse, because loosing you already make my life into pieces.

Your annoying girl that gonna miss you like ... HELL!,